I'd much rather go to the hospital than go to the dentist!

"If you let go a little you will have little peace.
If you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace.
~Ajahn Chah

(This one is for you, Stacey Pickett!!! Love u!!!!)



Being an idot while the doc was out of the room :o)



Why in the WORLD is the dentist so freaking scary?!?!?! I mean, 9 times out 10 nothing too bad is going to happen, and when the bad stuff does happen, your mouth is full of novocaine or you're knocked out (yes, I do have a cavity or two!).  So what's the big deal??? Well, for me, I think it's the noise (and I can't STAND metal in my mouth...or scraping noises).  It's 2010, can we not make some dental instruments that don't sound like jackhammers?!?!?!? Not cool.....

I also had to go to the eye doctor this week, which is also an experience I don't place high on my "things I love to do" list. Am I the only one who has to take a xanax to prepare myself for that puff of air (it's actually two evil puffs) they blow in your eye?!?!?! HORRIBLE!!!!!!! Good thing about that appointment was, I now have a pair of contacts that are not ripped and full of protein deposits, so I can see again! :o)

So, the reason I have to get all these appointments taken care of is because my chemo vacay officially starts next Wednesday.  My chemo case manager (yes, I have a case manager!) suggested that I get these appointments taken care of before teatment starts.  There are 16 billion possible (and I stress possible, I have GOD on my side!) side effects of chemo therapy drugs, and some of mine include mouth and eye issues sooooo, there ya go!

My chemo case manager (she is FABULOUS!!!), talked to us for a good 45 minutes about any and everything I may, or may not expect.  I'm not going to lie, some of it sounds super scary....like the one side effect that prevents me from having any feeling in my throat, so I don't know if I'm breathing because I can't feel air going down my throat.......crazy right?!?!?!?!? This particular side effect happens whenever I come into contact with anything cold.  Drinks, food, touching a cold object, going outside in the cold, even opening the refrigerator door!  To remedy this "not knowing I'm breathing" thing, someone has to quicky blow a blow dryer in my face...WHAT?!?!?!?!? Somebody better keep a blow dryer handy, for realz :o)

I don't think I'm nervous about chemo, I just think that chemo makes the fact that I HAD (and I stress had...) cancer all the more real. I try not to, but I often wonder, if we would have done this (chemo thing) last year, would the cancer have come back??? Will it prevent it from coming back again?? What am I gonna do if it comes back again?? I've said this qoute before, and I'll say it again:

"...The bottom line is, even though the cancer may go away, knowing that you had cancer doesn't.  The fear of it coming back doesn't go away, either".

~Sheryl Crow

I can't even begin to explain to you how true that is.  I kinda think that I made it through these last two episodes LIKE A CHAMP!! But I gotta wonder, how much "superwoman" do I have in me?????? I'm not going to lie, the fear of it coming back scares me to death...but, then again...as long as God is on my side, it can come back as many times as it wants!!! OOOOHHHHHHH, take that cancer :o)



Port under my skin where I will get the goods :o)



Like I said earlier, chemo starts next Wednesday (29th) and I'm doing a 6 month treatment. I go in on Wednesday morning and get 4-5 hours of chemo in the office.  I then get sent home with a pump and do the rest of the meds at home for 48 hours.  I go back in the office on Friday and get the pump turned off, and repeat that process every 12 days (many of you may still be stuck on that whole 4-5 hour thing every other Wednesday, I was!)...visitors are welcome, come have cocktail hour with me! (many of you have no choice, you know who you are!!!!)

All in all, I feel GREAT! I keep telling people I feel like I can take over the world (don't act like I cant!). I am definitely, without a doubt...blessed and highly favored :o)
"...and I know, you favored me because, my enemies did try, but couldn't triumph over me"
~Hezekiah Walker & LFC, God Favored Me Pt. 1

healthy eating tidbit:

READ THE INGREDIENTS!!!! If you cant pronounce it, it's probably not good for you. If you're not sure, call the company 800 number and ask what it is.....example:

 Carmine, cochineal, and carminic acid are commonly found in food products that use red dye...it is red pigment from the crushed female cochineal insect (ewwwwww!), go ahead...eat that red lollipop and drink your red juice now! (trust me, that's not even CLOSE to being the worst one!)

Stay Healthy!!!

"Somebody told me I had major balls today. I agreed. We both got it wrong though, I don't have nothing but a little faith (that happens to move mountains)."

~Cortney Cleveland

(love u!!!!!!!!!!!)

~But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.~

Psalms 3:3

~TRUST HIM~



I chopped it off!!!!!



SU2C.org     NEVER TOO LATE TO GET INVOLVED!! GO TO THE SITE :o)