1 down.....11 to go....

11 more treatments doesn't sound THAT bad does it?!?!?!?!? Dr. Duke said it'll be over before I know it and, he's a doctor so he's right.....right????? It's been 2 weeks since my last treatment and just as I am starting to feel somewhat normal, it's time to go back in the morning.  I think I dealt with the side effects pretty well.  Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of bad moments (it kicked my butt, for sure!) but, for the most part, I did OK.  Whenever I got the urge to throw something (or someone) out of a window, I remind myself that it could be MUCH worse.  I'm not going to lie, it still hasn't completely 100% set in that I've had cancer twice....I really can't believe it sometimes.  TWICE?!?!?!?!? REALLY?!?!?!?!? I imagine I'll never fully get over that (maybe with a little help from a shrink, or "talking doctor" as one of my students use to call it!) Speaking of students, not being in the classroom is really a lot harder than I thought it would be.  It's not even about not getting a paycheck (although my bank account does miss it's bimonthly deposit!).  It's about the kids....I actually miss hanging out with 9 yr olds!! If you've never spent the day with a 9 yr old, you should definitely put in on your "things to do" list.  They're hilarious.....and I miss that :o(  I also miss that "A-ha!" moment when they finally got something, there's nothing better in the world than the look on a kids face when a concept clicks.  I know I did a blog a while ago called "Thank you cancer".....well today, I wanna drop-kick cancer! As much as I try to get on with my life in a normal fashion, I am constantly reminded that there is nothing normal about it!  I've never been a person that deals with change well, and I've never been cool with waiting to see what's going to happen. I need to know what's going to happen or I feel completely out of control.  I'm not to sure why these past two weeks have been so rough.  Maybe it's because chemo kinda incapacitates you to the point that you dread walking up the stairs, or maybe it's because chemo makes it that much more real.  The one thing I keep hearing over and over again is, "Ebony, you have GOT to get some rest." Well, that's been sort of difficult for me because "resting" really isn't my cup of tea.  I'm a social butterfly (as mom calls it!) and resting doesn't really fit into my social agenda! Saturdays and Sundays are the absolute WORST!!! If you know me well, you know that I live for football, there is nothing in the world better than getting up on Saturday morning, watching Gameday, throwing some food on the grill, and having a beer or two (or 3 or 4 or 5....you get the picture).  Now, I'm a little iffy about eating food off the grill, and even more iffy about drinking. Honestly, I'm lucky to make it through a game without falling asleep!  Every single decision I make is revolved around cancer and cancer treatment......"should I eat this? should I drink this? will this interfere with the chemo drugs? if I go to the game, or to the bar, will I fall asleep because my body is so tired? if I go for a quick jog, am I gonna pass out in the middle of the street? I was told no more mani/pedi's till after treatment because of the risk of infection....should I risk it and get it done anyway? Is chemo slowly killing my reproductive organs? and the biggie.....what if the cancer comes back? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE?!?!?!?!?!  Don't freak out, I'm still as positive as I can be but, I have the right to vent every once in a while right?!?!?!?!?!?  I know this situation is in God's protective hands, it's just hard to deal with sometimes :o)
On a lighter note, my dad bought an iPad last week (it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!) and he gave me his MacBook! Only a matter of time before the new iPad comes out and he gives me his old one, being home definitely has it's perks :o)

Thanks everybody for your thoughts and prayers, when things get rough, I think of all the peeps who have my back and it makes going through this MUCH easier!!! If I'm up to it, I'll post a play by play from the infusion room tomorrow!
LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH :o)


"We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way."
~Unknown


~Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer~
Romans 12:12

ANGEL OF GRACE :o)

~TRUST HIM~


PRAYER REQUEST for Raven Orr, 28 years old and also in the fight; but we know that God heals :o)
TRUST AND BELIEVE RAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!!! GET SCREENED LADIES (AND MEN TOO!)


www.liv.com this site has info about breast cancer and links to where you can get free mammograms


www.Pink-4-Ever.org another fabulous site dedicated to breast cancer


www.thetrevorproject.org Im sure many of you have heard about the recent wave of teen suicides the past few months due to bullying in the schools.....we HAVE to do better people....