It's ok to cry...right????

Those of you who know me pretty well know I can be a hardass at times (sorry for the language aunties and momma!) and I don't like for people to see me weak.  I'm one of those, "I can handle this myself" type of people.  Rarely cry in front of people if at all...I save those kinds of emotions for the shower :o)  The thing about having something like cancer is, the emotions that come with it can get pretty intense at times.  For instance, I was in my car at Barnes & Noble (shout out!) the other day and I found myself watching all the people coming to and from various places, smiling and laughing, holding hands, eating icecream....going about their lives.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I was crying my eyes out and didn't even realize it.  Again, those of you who know me pretty well know that my saddness QUICKLY turns to anger...and I mean real quick.  At that moment I wanted to stand on top of the car and scream at the top of my lungs, "I HAVE CANCER! CAN EVERYONE PLEASE STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND BE SAD FOR A MINUTE OR TWO!!!!!" lets just think of it as  moment of silence to reflect on....ummm...well, me!!  Ridiculous right?!?!?!?  I got over myself and drove home, fighting tears back the entire way....I even tried that trick that Tyra Banks talks about, you know the one where you tilt your head back and take deep breaths through your nose  (definitely not a good idea while your driving, I almost rear ended a dude).  When I got home I ran upstairs to the bathroom and lost my battle with my tears.  When I thought I had gotten it all out, I examined my puffy face in the mirror and I said, "It's ok to cry, right?".  I think that because I am such a strong person, crying equals weak and weak is the last thing you wanna be when fighting a beeotch like cancer. I also sometimes feel like crying means that I don't 100% believe I'm gonna get through this so I exhaust A LOT of energy preventing myself from crying.
The good thing about it is, I dont feel the urge to cry very often.  I am super blessed to have such an amazing arsenal of family and friends on my side that my heart is generally too full to cry (go ahead and say it....awwwwwwww!).
I recieved a message today from a friend I haven't talked to in years.  Me and this particular individual were inseparable once upon a time, the best of friends, never thought for a moment there would come a time when she wouldn't be in my life....but crap happens, right??? That time came and I honestly can't even remember why (isn't that usually how it works?!?!?).  So anyway, I get a message and when I saw that it was from her I almost fell down the stairs. The message was short, sweet, and to the point....but it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear at that moment.  I told her later, all B.S. aside that hearing from her made my day (Thank you!!!).  Another friend of mine sent me a message a couple days ago (that made me cry it was so sweet!) and at the end of it she said, "I doubt I can do much....", but that's just the thing, these little emails and text messages and fb messages are doing more than you think.  You guys cant cure my cancer (if Im wrong and you know how, contact me asap), but you can cure my "I have cancer so I'm gonna feel sorry for myself and try to trip all the healthy people so they fall and embarrass themselves blues" and that positive, happy mood is crazy important when fighting cancer...you have no idea how much all of it means to me so here's a big
THANK YOU!!!! for all you do, it's like I have a million (I clearly don't know a million people but you get my point) angels around me all the time :o)

~No Weapons formed against shall prosper~
(just may be my next tat...)

~TRUST HIM~