Today, I got back form the one of the best vacations I've ever had in my entire life. Can you call going to where you live a vacation?? I guess you can, if you haven't been there in while. Last Friday, I was up to my neck in, "cancer this, cancer that", "eat this...DON'T EAT THAT!!!", "take this, stay away from that!". I literally didn't have any more room in this wonderful brain of mine to hold any more information...no matter how useful it was. I was getting to that angry point, the point where I knew I would explode if something didn't happen. I JUST WANT MY OLD FREAKING LIFE BACK....IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT. I don't want to have to wonder if the 5 grams of sugar in my yogurt is too much sugar and now the lesions have grown to football (GO VOLS!!!!) size tumors. I don't wanna have to wonder if my lack of sleep will contribute to tumor growth.....as well as my lack of sanity. I just wanted to feel like me again so I packed my car and headed straight for Wesville :o) While they were fixing the air conditioner in our house, we decided to stay in hotels all weekend which was awesome...I mean, who doesn't like staying in hotels?!?!? We walked around downtown Savannah like we were tourist, laughed obnoxiously loud in the hotel room at ridiculous hours, ate dinner at restaurants we've never been too, and also had some super important "cancer talks". It was fabulous. He went back to the house for second yesterday and I asked him to look around and grab anything he thought I may need, since I was going to be in ATL for a while. When he got back, he nearly took my breath away. I was thinking he'd grab some books, a sweater, my football jerseys (cant BELIEVE I forgot those!!), my favorite jammies, ya know stuff like that. He walked in the hotel room, and all he had was my Bible.....MY BIBLE PEOPLE!!!!!! Can you believe this dude?!?!?!?!?! People tell me all the time how "lucky" I am to have him.....that's not luck, he's a blessing for sure! I just freaking love him....now I'm plotting on getting him here :o)
So I get back today just in time for my appointment with the surgeon. Not so nervous about this one because it's the same surgeon who did my last surgery (love him and his staff!). We talked for a while, went over my options (I got super confused!!), and we decided that surgery before chemo would be the best plan. Let's get these little jerks out ASAP, then work on what may or may not have lingered around. Surgery is set for August 30 at 10:00 am.
You SCCPSS teachers out there are surely thinking, "That's the first day of school...". Yea, I was thinking the same. When I was told that I would definitely be out for 6 wks just for the surgery (not even including my chemo vacay), I wanted to drop kick the very next person who walked by me....and I wasn't going to discriminate. Teaching is what I do, it's my passion, it's what I love more than anything....and now you're saying I can't do it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? UMMMMMM, YOU CAN START THAT MORPHINE DRIP ANYTIME NOW!!!!!!! The feeling I have right now is completely indescribable. I know I have to take of myself but, I love my job, I love my school, I love the people I work with......don't EVEN get me started on the kids. I have no idea what I'm gonna do without all of that...no idea at all. And I can't help but to feel like this stupid disease took it from me, it's not fair....there, I said it.....IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!! (welcome to my pity party, leave your happiness and positivity at the door!)
Ya know what, I need to stop playing the "why me?" game and kick cancer's a** so I can get back to my life right? duh. I'll be back to doing what I love in no time.....I don't like pity parties anyway, they're really not that much fun :o).
Those of you who know me best, you know the wheels in my head are already spinning trying to figure out a way to incorporate my experience into the curriculum....bald head and all :o)
Let me know if anyone wants surgery details!!!
Can't wait to see you Auje and Shy :o)
~Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours~
Mark 11:24
~TRUST HIM~
Oh man that bites!!! We are really going to miss you at the beginning of the year, we just may be calling you (what are the steps to RTI again??)But when you get back there will be the biggest Starbucks coffee waiting for you and me(because after your little extra vacay, WE are going to need it). Take care of YOURSELF and leave the worrying of the kids to us!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah....GO GATORS!!!!....Troy is very close to saying that. I think he will have it down pat when we play you guys...might have to have him call you!
CJ
I love you girlie! can't wait to see you!!! You're freakin awesome!
ReplyDelete"Courage is firmly facing difficulties and obstacles knowing God has promised to be with you." EB- A meltdown is not a sign of weakness; it is a venue to release, re-group and then TCB.
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Aunt L
Hey EJ, you come for excellent DNA, so put on your Steelers gear go in their and kick butt and know your family has your back, we love you.
ReplyDeleteDalee and Gay (Your twin Cousin)
P.S. Gay told me to tell you they are renting the trailer (I guess that is between you two twins)